Patience, Patience, Patience...

Patience, my most despised word. Only because I am not very good at it. It has been four weeks since the last surgery...I feel as if I just left the hospital. I wanted recovery to be fast like last time...He has other plans.
Still Tired-check.
Lots of Pain-check.
People tell me I look sick(bad)- yea,check-(gotta LOVE this one)
Stuck at the apt-check.
Frustration-double check.

Still taking pain meds daily...usually several times a day. I can handle about an hour of being upright before I want to punch a hole in the wall haha. Sleep-ALL the time. Yesterday I fell asleep about 1030am and didn't wake up until 4...what a waste of a day in my opinion, and I still sleep 9 hours at night AH!!!. Taking folic acid and some other meds EVERY day...can I tell a difference, nope. Shots? Yep, I am giving myself shots in my legs...actually sort of fun in a crazy way (but then I am the one that on really bad days would go get piercings for the rush you get ha! Not anymore...although I have thought about it...or I could always start with tatoos...any ideas? :P) Anyways, it just doesn't feel like a whole lot of progress. Is God still in control? You betcha! He just wants to keep teaching me some things that if I felt great, I probably would be too busy to learn. Sad, but probably true. Am I frustrated? Yes, because I can't get my transcript/diploma until August and can't take the National exam until later-causes lots of issues at work for this summer etc. Again, God is going to teach me something I couldn't otherwise learn. When you feel like there is NOTHING good happening in the situation...its ok-it may not come til later. Be patient :) (I am preaching to myself, believe me!) Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." He has got each of us covered...I have extra time for reading, praying, and writing right now which is a sweet thing I won't always have. So even though at times, usually several times a day I hit the point that I want to scream or feel like breaking down because stuff is just so not going how I wanted it to or how I ever saw it going...thats ok and God understands exactly how I am feeling. And I can thank Him for this opportunity-even though that may sound crazy. Go read James 1.

PS. I have watched lots of movies ;) Bottlerocket-more than once, Madea movies, Moulin Rouge etc...then PS I love you and Snatch are good for this weekend!