"Everything in the universe has rhythm. Everything dances." - Maya Angelou
How long has it been since you have done something that made you really happy? I am not talking about just having a great dinner with friends or a small break from your crazy pile of work; I am wondering what is that one thing that always makes you happy and you can lose yourself in? For me, I could say there are several things that make me happy and allow me to quit stressing over whatever else is going on; fishing, hiking, camping, four wheeling, etc those types of activities. They allow me to mellow out and relax... But if you ask me what makes me come alive? It wouldn't be those same answers. What makes me come alive, and is visible all over my face is dancing.
When I am dancing, I am in my moment-in my head everything else fades away and I can forget about all the bad stuff around me and just be absolutely and completely free. And I am talking about ALL kinds of dancing; the waltz, shagging, salsa, some booty shakin', and everything in between. I love being able to listen to a beat or rhythm and letting my body move to it. My competitive side comes out if its in public...I can't let someone else show me up or attempt to some new move etc. :) I love how I feel when I am dancing. Nothing else matters...and even my partner, as long as he knows what he is doing and isn't messing me up, he doesn't matter to me. I don't mean that quite as harsh as it sounds haha, but dancing to me isn't some way to meet or attract a guy, or to be the center of attention in some club-its about me being able to get out all the emotions that have been stuck inside of me. Some people may not understand that, and thats because dancing wouldn't ever do that for them. But for me, its something that has always come easy and natural for me and I can lose myself in it. And yes. to water down my previous statement, at some point when I find a guy that we can both put up with each other long enough, sure it will be fun to dance with him (even if he is no good haha)-but then it would be more just for fun, not that release it gives me now.
Maybe for you, your release comes through painting (ha-that would NEVER be mine), or playing some musical instrument, a game of soccer (now I can get into that, but still not the same level of release for me), running for some. I think my point is, that today we almost feel guilty for doing something that we know lets us forget about other things because we know there is some huge case to go over, or paperwork to be done, a house to be cleaned etc. And yes, there must be a balance between work and play, but we can't focus so much on work and stifling all the feelings of restlessness that will come.
I have found myself beyond frustrated lately (for numerous reasons) but two that were driving me crazy. One, that has been in my head for a while, is the fact I had found someone I could not let loose and just dance in front of. Yes, I would dance and some would deem it good-but for those that have really seen me dance, they would wonder what my problem was. This irritated me, even if the person didn't know it did. I didn't get it, I was comfortable around 'em so why all of a sudden could I not in a sense, just be completely me? Was I losing my touch? Oh, I really hoped not. But then, lately I have increased that frustration by not being able to dance at all because of surgery-the head hurt too much and the neck was too stiff to move anything but my hips ha. It was building up, badly, until last weekend. A friend's wedding in TN. It was an interracial wedding...right up my alley. I was hurting yes, but seeing the dance floor full and all of the white guests still sitting-I didn't care what my pain level was. And then I saw her, a girl probably 9 years old and it was her face. She was lost in the music and her face was full of straight up joy over being able to move her body to the beat. I knew what that felt like, and it had been long enough without it-I got up on the dance floor and danced with all of them the rest of the night. And I was happy. So happy. And finally today it hit me why I couldn't dance in front of that person-I cared what they thought.
Dancing is in me-its part of who I am. And I LOVE it. People who have watched me, whether its in a competition, around the house (yes, I dance around the house. ALL the time, to any music-even just in my head. I admit it-its a blast. You should try it sometime :P),or at some dance club, always comment on my face. I am excited while I do it. And that is why I froze up so bad, dancing means so much to me, that I was afraid of what that person may say about it. And if they said something negative, it would be a lot more hurtful because it was something that is so close to my heart, and I didn't want to give them that chance. Oh gracious, how stupid can we be? Why in the world do we let someone else's opinion stop us from doing something we love-especially when they are not that good at it themselves? No offense ha. We all have different things that we are passionate about-and that is what makes us coming together so exciting. We bring different things to the table. So why do we let other people, and other things (work, papers, and other commitments) keep us from doing something that makes us really happy? According to studies posted by the CDC at least 40% of workers say that they "very often" feel burned out and stressed because of their job. 56% of men work over 50 hours a week. No wonder everyone lives exhausted and frustrated because its the same thing day in and day out. And what always takes the back burner? The people that should matter the most and the activities that relieve our stress instead of add to it.
"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music." George Carlin
I guess I will be just fine being considered insane then, for I am always hearing and moving to the music in my head.
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